The NSA Is Watching You Watching Porno

June 26, 2013  |  By
Filed under: Back Page, Essay
COBBtheeyeshaveit31k

Chris Cobb

Obviously the NSA is the ultimate voyeur.
Obviously the NSA knows about every porn site you have ever looked at.
Obviously the NSA knows you sent some pretty mean and emotionally messed up e-mails to your ex-wife.
Obviously the NSA knows you check your e-mail eighty-five times a day.
Obviously the NSA knows you check Facebook 150 times a day.
Obviously the NSA knows you scan the Craigslist dating section all the time.
Obviously the NSA knows your cell phone is just a sophisticated tracking device that can also be used for phone calls and texting.
Obviously the NSA knows you bought sex toys online with your credit card, twice.
Obviously the NSA must get a kick out of all your freaked-out Facebook posts about George Orwell and Big Brother.
Obviously the NSA knows you were gay in college but are now straight, sort of.
Obviously the NSA knows you are/were a drug dealer.
Obviously the NSA knows you hate cats.
Obviously the NSA outsources watching you to private companies so it can’t be held responsible if anything goes wrong.
Obviously the NSA gets angry when someone finds out they are being watched.
Obviously the NSA could use all of its collected information to blackmail anyone anytime.
Obviously the NSA knows artists and writers naturally sympathize with left-wing political causes.
Obviously the NSA knows you used to like Sex in the City but now you like Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Obviously the NSA assumes your data says more about you than you realize.
Obviously the NSA can make extremely accurate predictions about us based on all of our metadata.
Obviously the NSA is full of hackers and brilliant sneaky people who are obsessed with data and statistical analysis.
Obviously the NSA must be a vast bureaucracy.
Obviously the NSA is gathering information on people without warrants.
Obviously the NSA is indifferent to attorney–client privilege, since it scoops up all of its data without warrants.
Obviously the NSA’s sole purpose cannot merely be to “protect America” since “America” is attacked all the time by foreign hackers and by organized criminals—like the Colombian drug cartels, the Mexican drug cartels, the mafia, and the Russian mob, etc.
Obviously the NSA must know about the white-collar criminals as much as it does the crack dealer down the street.
Obviously the NSA could be directed to only seek information on political enemies or minorities or anyone who is not cool.
Obviously the NSA’s sole purpose is not crime prevention or terror prevention.
Obviously the NSA did not prevent the white-collar criminals at Goldman Sachs from engaging in illegal “naked short selling” or prevent AIG or Enron from committing their financial crimes.
Obviously the NSA did not prevent banks from illegally repossessing people’s homes around the country through fake paperwork.
Obviously the NSA did not prevent Enron from manipulating the energy market so that California’s economy would be driven into chaos.
Obviously the NSA’s secrecy is vital to its existence.
Obviously the NSA’s activities rate is not known to all members of Congress, so that’s interesting in itself.
Obviously the NSA’s activities outside of American soil will never be known.
Obviously the NSA must be used for other things besides preventing crime and terrorist attacks.
Obviously the NSA potentially holds the power of life and death over a great number of people, at least indirectly, by being able to quantify all of their data, linking their phone records, travels, who they communicate with, what they like to eat, what entertainment they enjoy, what clothes they bought, what books they look at on Amazon or check out from the library, their medical history, their financial history, etc., etc.
Obviously the NSA could just be recording all of the data and storing it, only using it as an enormous database for inquiries from whoever is allowed to query the data.
Obviously the NSA is secretive about everything it does and apparently is not entirely truthful about what it does so it’s likely what is known about it is wrong.
Obviously the NSA must be doing all of this secret spying for someone, somewhere, for some reason.

1 Comment

  1. Kevin Deaton Says:

    Was watching http://www.dw.de/ over morning coffee. A man described living under the Iron Curtain when I suddenly realised I live under a silicon one #siliconcurtain anyone?

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