Diary of a Crazy Artist: Dumb Art Jokes

April 26, 2013  |  By
Modern Scribble. Chris Cobb, 2013

Chris Cobb, <em>Modern Scribble</em>, 2013

It’s easy to understand modern art. If it hangs on a wall, it’s a painting. If you can walk around it, it’s a sculpture.

What do you get if you cross a painter with a boxer? Muhammad Dali.

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint? Both crews were marooned.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out, and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do it and one to say, “Huh! My 4-year-old could’ve done that!”

2 Comments

  1. Elizabeth Murphy Says:

    How many performance artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    I don’t know, I left.

    Ooooooh!

  2. Cole Willsea Says:

    I would like to point out that the Felix Gonzalez-Torres work currently on display at MOMA uses both General Electric and Sylvania light bulbs, and I wonder what the certificate for the work specifies as far as replacing bulbs, and if one day this work will be displayed using those green energy-saving bulbs.

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